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Post by sebastian on Aug 11, 2009 23:10:23 GMT
 turn me on and off and make me say, ' it' s magic' [/center]
how was it not a surprise that sebastian found himself obliviously hungover one afternoon, laying in the empty room of requirements, made to look like a dance floor? apparently he'd had a lot of fun last night, but had been the only one to last so long and pass out on the couch. whatever. as long as he wasn't in some fatasses bed, with a bucket of vomit six inches away from his face. but it's not like he had any experience with that.. anyways, he wasn't at all shocked to see the mess, but a little disgusted all the same. with the usual dizziness and tightened muscles of the morning after, seb got up off the couch, and nearly stumbled into the door. he pulled it shut like he'd innocently been browsing the school, and came across a room of monkeys. judging by the light and lack of people in the halls, it was past noon, and classes were definitely over. whatever. as long as he wasn't missed by freinds. he didn't care. we made his slow and dirty way to the hufflepuff common room by the kitchens, and quickly squirmed himself to his dorm. he didn't exactly want to be seen - his hair must be a mess. not attractive, obviously. and he wanted to look his best if he wanted to have another good night.
after a brief yet effective shower, and change of clothes, seb noticed the lack of attention drawn to him, like there usually was. he wasn't making a fool of himself at that moment, and wasn't hitting on any random beast. so, still avoiding any prying eyes of fellow hufflepuffers, he ducked in and out of the common room from his dorm to the corridors outside. he might as well find someone right now, to check if there was a party anytime soon. even with is headache and lack of eyesight, he was still up for anything right now. besides, a drink or two would probably help him right now with the pain. his life lately was back-to-back parties or sleeping around. he needed something different, but was vaguely aware that that was possible. he dared not miss out on anything just to experiment with studying, or attending the constant detentions he was obliged to serve. he thought briefly of zane, who compared to seb was a real straightedge, settled down with emily, his girl. the two were probably innocently huddled by a fire right about now, discussing todays herbology class. what a goody-goody. but seb did still love him unconditionally, and would never confront zane with these opinions. the two twins were inseparable friends, and seb knew that even though they were completely different, they were the same at heart.
sebastian found his way at hungover randomness to the inter house common room, where he spotted only few people he knew. nobody interesting, nobody with respectable party information. so he took a crappy wooden chair seated away from everyone, at a table. usually, this table would have been used for working on late assignments or studying for the next midterm. the ink spots of stress arted the tabletop, and seb took out his wand for boredoms sake. he washed the splots away with a lazy flick or two, but graffitied it up with another swish, spreading a large and obnoxious smiley face with its tongue out etched into the wooden table. it looked ridiculous - an intentional artwork in the small corner of the desk, but seb was just bored as fuck and looking to do something. hi eyes wandered around the room once again, and he was annoyed to see that nothing had changed. no interesting faces had appeared. shit.
TAGGED.!
[/b][/color] emiii :] WORDCOUNT. ![/b] 654 PLAYING. ![/b] yeah boy and doll face - pierce the veil. NOTES. ![/b] sorry so short : P [/blockquote][/blockquote][/sub][/font] |
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Post by emily louise ashley. on Aug 12, 2009 0:03:42 GMT
  I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU[/size] CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center] how do you write a letter to a brother who was dying? emily didn't even know where to start. she could talk about hogwarts, and her lessons and her friends and quidditch, except then, she'd feel terrible, because rueben was eleven and didn't get his hogwarts letter. he was a muggle. no magic for him. out of the three ashley children, he was the odd one out. he was the one who'd miss out on everything. miss out on magic, on quidditch, on growing up. emily didn't even know how long she'd still have her brother. she hadn't told anyone, not even lora, or even lucy. especially not zane. she couldn't tell them. it wasn't like they'd be able to help. they wouldn't be able to make it better. her brother was dying. that was a solid fact. there was no stopping it. she couldn't talk about her world. there was no way she could talk about things that rueben wouldn't be able to experience but connor would. she could talk about things happening in the muggle world, except she had no idea. she didn't know about anything that was happening outside these six foot thick walls. ask her anything about wizarding affairs and she could answer you like that. maybe .. she should talk about zane. that was always a safe topic. she could talk about him. ruby loved zane. or, at least, emily thought he did. she was pretty convinced he did. yes. ruby didn't know emily was now zane's girlfriend. he didn't know she was oficially zane's and not just the best friend anymore. and .. she could ask after her dad, and connor.
she put her pen to the piece of paper ( she couldn't use ink and parchment; ruby was in hospital, and if he received a letter on parchment, it would raise some pretty difficult questions ) and bit at the tip of her tongue, frowning. emily was struggling. she had no idea what to write. she was so immersed into the wizarding world that trying to talk about something not related to magic was painfully difficult. she stared at the two words she'd written ( dear ruby, in case you were wondering ) and sighed in frustration, leaning back in her seat and balancing her feet precariously on the edge of her chair. this was ridiculous. why did she find it so hard to talk to her little brother? during the summer, she didn't have any problems. she could just talk and talk and talk, nattering on for hours on end about the first thing that came into her mind. the first and only thing in her mind these days was the information about her brother. the thing she could never tell. she refused to say it out loud. if she did, it would become real, and that .. it just .. it'd crush her. shd didn't want to lose her baby brother; who would?
she rubbed a hand across her face and tried to rub her eyes discreetly, looking around the gryffindor common room anxiously to check that she hadn't been watched. she couldn't do this. she didn't want to be in here any more. she had to move. change rooms. find somewhere else to go. somewhere else to be. find someone to talk to. anything that would distract her. she didn't care right now. she just needed something to do. she twisted and stood up in her seat, walking towards the fat lady's portrait, not even bothering to push the letter and her pen into her bag; it wasn't like she'd written anything incriminating. nobody would be able to find out what was wrong. she hated that she was shoving her friends away. hated that she was keeping them at arm's length. that was what emily did when she was hiding something. she pushed. she blocked people out. she became as stubborn as a mule and refused point blank to tell people. she became the most difficult person in the world when she had a secret.
she wandered around for the better part of twenty minutes, just letting her feet take her some place and then wandering some more when she discovered that she didn't actually want to be there. she finally made her way towards the inter-house common room, a room she still wasn't quite sure about. she didn't particularly like slytherins at the best of times, what with their comments about half bloods and squibs and muggleborns ( emily was particularly touchy about every single one of those topics ) and so she was glad they had seperate common rooms. giving emily a room where she'd have to cohabitate with slytherins was like giving her a free pass to curse as many of them as she could. she closed the door quietly behind her and pressed her back to it, looking around carefully before setting off in any random direction. she was staring at her feet, at the ground, and so didn't notice the table until after she'd walked into it. she stumbled, and placed her hand out to catch herself, and then blinked. "z-zane."
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Post by sebastian on Aug 12, 2009 1:13:20 GMT
turn me on and off and make me say, ' it' s magic' [/center]
after examining the plain wonderful doodle on the desk, and adminring the fact that that phrase sounded really catchy, seb was left with, yet again, nothing to do. fuck, he though, and slammed a fist to the desk, probably scaring some of the younger populations in the room. not that sebastian was intimidating, or tried to be, but if anyone saw a misplaced boy walk alone into a room and deface a desk, they would probably be a bit more aware of his actions and questioning of his placement. it was true, seb was very quesionable, no doubt about that. but just in case, he looked up from the desk at a few wide eyes through the silence and made half a sime, showing that he wasn't completely mental. just a bit bored. he could have sworn, if he ever endured a full class during school hours, he'd die. this enough was torture, and it claimed about an hour less so far than a normal class's time. what a fail, he was. and before long, he grew tired - or maybe just so bored - and lay his head over his arms on the flat desk, closing his eyes in the near-darkness.
minutes must have passed, no hours.. maybe just seconds, before he finally was unnaware of his surroundings. inother words, sleep had come in his lonelyness. it was probably for the better. if seb did indeed find a party later, he'd need as much possible sleep to stay awake for the remainder of the night. god doesn't even know how much he got last night - or morning. badically, if seb were awake, he'd assume as low as two hours. he was usually one to stay up all morning, keeping everyone alive and dancing. the major alcohol was his sugar, and, unlike quite a few people, kept him awak from unlimited hours. it wasn't until he put his drink down that he found himself wary. and he didn't mind. especially in his drunk mind, he didn't give a shit about class, or anything really. he lived in the now, and whateveer came next, would come later. life could wait, but all night dsance parties owned his life. and he was proud to admit this. the lack of drama in his life might impair his risk-taking and self-pity, but he was glad he had no sick grandfather, or aids to worry about. god help him one day he caused too much drama and lost respect for himself, or found himself in a bad situation. for real, seb was easy going. that was all.
it wasn't until sebastian heard a loud banging noise extremeyly close by that he rose his head from sleep and looked around. he'd not dreamed, sadly, and he had no idea how long he was out for. obviously, the noise-maker didn't care for his personal rest, because the female figure beside the table that had obviously walked into the very visible structure. accidentally or not, he put on his pissed off face - which even he would admit, must have looked pretty fucking hilarious through the lazy sleep-filled eyes - and looked at the obstructors face. emily, zanes girlyfriend. obviously, she didn't know her own boyfriend, because she said zanes name to him, as if noticing it was zane. wrong - seb was far from zane, even f they looked exactly alike. slightly confused, but in knowledge of the situation at the same time, seb spat out, ''no, i--'' but then with a quick sewcond of thought and a quick recovery, he said, a bit louder of emphasis and contrast, ''hey, emily. what're you doing here?'' surely that's what zane would have said, or something like it. though they were only twins, not exact copies of eachother, seb had a decently clear bision of his brothers personality ad could easily, by experience, impersnate him.
perhaps it was the boredom, or the fact that emi was clearly off-limits and therefore double-atractive to seb, or maybe just the lack of sleep, but sebastian, being a player, got the quick idea in his head that this could be fun. pretending to be his brother wasn't a bug challenge to seb, nor a problem, because he'd never been caught. that's maybe because he'd never done anything destructive, but this could be a test. even if he loved his brother so much, this could be so much fun. any player would have done it, so seb was going to pretend to be his brother, just to see how far he could take it. he'd just better keep in mind his objective in mind - god help him he ruin everything wqith a slip of the tongue. this game could ast a while, and it was all thanks to poor emily's apparently distracted mind. he noted this, looking as her face and seeing painful eyes. also, the fact that she'd absentmindedly walked into his table told him she was distracted. even better for him. he was such an ass.
TAGGED.!
[/b][/color] emiii :] WORDCOUNT. ![/b] 940 PLAYING. ![/b] big city dreams - stephen jerzak NOTES. ![/b] short and crappy again xP [/blockquote][/blockquote][/sub][/font] |
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Post by emily louise ashley. on Aug 12, 2009 23:34:54 GMT
I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU [/size] CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center] if emily appeared distracted, it wasn't like she didn't have a reason; an ill brother was a legitimate excuse for not being all there. she challenged anyone to go through what she was going through right now and still end up exactly the same as they normally were. it didn't help that emily was now a prefect and had responsibility for her year. she hated responsibility with a passion; she didn't want it at all. she had only just turned fifteen; she wanted to enjoy being an idiotic little fifth year who didn't have to worry about anything other than quidditch and OWLs. to make emi be a prefect was just asking for trouble. emi had been changing, she knew it. she knew she was different. she knew she wasn't acting the same. and if emily knew it, then it was clearly obvious to the rest of the school. she'd always been the hyper little gryffindor girl who got thrown into the lake more times than anyone could count. she'd never been quiet. never been normal. she was always loud. always hyper. always charging about like she was sitting on a rocket. not now. now she was much more serious. now she felt as though she were under pressure to change. she'd done the last five essays she'd been assigned. she'd actually done her homework. that was one thing emily never did. that usually signalled something was up.
she winced as pain shot up her leg, pulling a face and pressing a hand against her hip. walking into tables was something emi did frequently; she should be used to the fact that it hurt by now. she looked around quickly once, and then chewed at her lip, not quite sure how to act around zane. it was partly the fact that she'd been avoiding him for the past merlin knows how long, and the fact that she was his girlfriend. his girlfriend. she was his. inexplicably. she belonged to him and no one else. it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. all happy. no one else could make her that happy. she snapped her head back to him as he spoke, and frowned lightly at the no, almost letting herself become confused. "i .. oh, um,"
[/color] emily looked around again before walking around the table she'd just bumped into, and sat in the seat next to zane, winding her fingers through his. "i was just-"[/color] she hesitated slightly, not entirely certain she wanted to tell him exactly why she was here. "just .. looking for you." she finished, grinning up at him and hoping to merlin that it wasn't obvious she hadn't been completely honest. she had been looking for zane; of course she had. that just wasn't her number one reason for being here. she looked away again, and around the common room, wondering whether she should actually tell zane about rueben, whether she should let him know why she'd been so distant and acting so oddly for the last few weeks. but how would he be able to help? kiss her on the forehead, give her a hug and tell her everything would be fine? it wouldn't be fine; in less than a month she'd only have one sibling. in just under three weeks, rueben was going to die, and there was nothing emi could do to stop it. the chemo wasn't working. her blood type didn't match ruby's. they couldn't find any blood that rueben's body wouldn't reject. his organs were slowly shutting down; he was already on dialasis. she chewed at her lip distractedly, only half paying attention to her surroundings; the rest of her attention was focussed on zane's hand and how tightly she was gripping it. she loosened her fingers a bit, before rethinking and looked back up at him briefly. she hesitated momentarily, and then shuffled closer to him on her seat and wrapped his arm around her, fingers still twisted with his. she buried her face against his chest, feeling herself instantly relax, feeling much happier now that she was with zane. "i missed you,"[/color] she mumbled, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying closer. "i'm sorry for avoiding you,"[/color] she looked up as she finished her last sentence, and tentatively placed her free hand on his face, pulling it down slightly. she stretched just a little bit and kissed his cheek, before burying back against him. emily wasn't the most observant person in the world when she was distracted.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size] |
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Post by sebastian on Aug 14, 2009 1:29:22 GMT
turn me on and off and make me say, ' it' s magic' [/center]
finding it quite amusing that in a matter of seconds, seb had gone from party-deprivation allert to possibly one of the best schemes he'd every thought of in seconds, he smiled up at emily, the girl who'd make his night fun. hopefully - if she managed to be so off today that she didn't conclude her boyfriend wasn't present and an imposter was trying to seduce her, everything would be fantastic. it wasn't asthough sebastian was a mawhore, really. just a.. sleeper. there was a huge difference - whores took whatever they got, and had no preference. sleepers, or players, like seb, took advantage of what they wanted until it was exactly what they wanted. true, sebs way of life was obviously more painful and risky then a life of w hore, but seb didn't want to be dirty. no way, that was gross. he might end up with that poppy chick or something. he shuddered at the thought. or even a guy - fuck, seb didn't even want to think about this without a nearby bucket to vomit in, fake or not. yes, being a player was definitley better, especially for him, and especially right now. sure, it could potentially screw up his brothers relationship with him, but that was unlikely. very unlikely. what could a little bit of fun harm?
when emily sat next to him, seb knew she was honestly distracted, or just plain dumb, enough to not even come close to a suspicion that zane wasn't here. lucky seb, as always. she cuddled in his chest, which seemed to cute, that it made seb want to vomit. if this was all zane and the girl did when they were alone, that was pathetic. then again zane had never been the horny bastard type, and emily actually seemed legit. maybe a bit too bubbly - though even he noticed she'd mellowed down for some reason - but she was actually pretty descent. nice. not at all sebs type. but the two looked cute together, so seb played along and played with emilys fingers in his hand, and he softly replied, ''well, you found me,'' and have her a smile before she kissed him on the cheek. trying to find a quick way to play along and sound like something zane would say, seb replied, "it's fine, i guess i've been a little busy lately, and i've missed you too.'' wow, he sounded so lame. so boyfriendy. he hated it - being tied down was definitley one of the worst things for him, and even if deep down, the one thing he wanted to have - no, try out - was a long-term relationship, he'd never admit it. not even to himself. and that's why he would never be consistantly happy to have someone great like emilt in his waiting arms. if seb had any more emotional capacity, he'd probably break down in sympath for himself right now. good thing he was tough, right?
thinking that zane in cntrast to the apparentlly distracted emily was pretty perceptive, seb took a second to notice for himself that emily was indeed very distracted, like she had something on her mind, and even if seb was a friend of hers, not even zane, he'd ask the girl what was wrong. surely, zane would too. "hey, emily..'' he started, sounding as concerned as he could, in his zane-voice, though the two sounded extremely identicle to begin with. "you seem.. off. what's up?'' he asked, hoping that this wasn't something the real zane had already discussed with her. the only problem with impersonation was the paranoia that you would get caught, and all of the little flaws that could be made to catch you. it was allarmingly difficult to keep a straight face at th fact that emily had bought it so far, though. she didn't seem like the blonde type, and surely she knew her own boyfriend. not that this wasn't gold. he put his chip upon her head and snuggled her more, drawing her closer. he had to admit, he was jealous of this full-time job zane had.
TAGGED.!
[/b][/color] emiii :] WORDCOUNT. ![/b] 800 PLAYING. ![/b] fall for you - secondhand serenade NOTES. ![/b] sooo shorttttt. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/sub][/font] |
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Post by emily louise ashley. on Aug 16, 2009 9:47:49 GMT
I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU [/size] CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center] she bit her lip and smiled slightly to herself as she felt zane playing with her fingers. she hadn't realised how much she'd missed him, how much she'd hated being away from him. she hated that shew as keeping so much from him, that pretty much everything about her life these days was a secret, but .. he probably didn't want to hear it anyway. it wasn't like it was his problem. he shouldn't have to worry about it. worry about her. no, emily could deal with it on her own, and when she was sorted, then she could tell him. when everything was fixed and back to normal, she'd go back to normal. it would be as though nothing had happened. she tightened her grip on his hand just a little bit more, and stayed where she was, burying into the side of her boyfriend - boyfriend; she still couldn't get over the fact that zane was her boyfriend. mr. ashley had immediately changed the way he acted around him when it became apparent that emi and zane weren't just friends any more, as had connor. ruby hadn't been at home that summer; emi had simply passed it off as him being at a camp.
so many lies. they just fell out of her mouth as though they were normal now, as though emi had had years of practice and knew how to lie professionally without being caught. emily couldn't lie - she was too sweet and too genuine and too honest for it. on the ocassion that she did attempt to bend the truth, she was almost always found out. they said it was something to do with her looking too nervous, appearing like she was afraid something was going to happen, that gave her away. emi just called them all psychic, shouted something completely random that hopefully confused them but only made her look like the biggest retard this side of edinburgh, and then ran away, either to hide somewhere or to pretend to go play quidditch. if she weren't such a good chaser, she'd have tried out for beater; hitting things until she felt better sounder like an amazing idea right about now. and weren't beaters usually more happy than other members of the team? taking your aggression out on a charmed leather ball must contribute to it. maybe she'd talk to sophia about switching. for a day, maybe. a trial. possibly? .. oh wait. wasn't emi the seeker?
that proved just how distracted emily was. she couldn't even remember what position she played in quidditch. no, she was definately the seeker; she'd been the chaser last year. her eyebrows pulled together slightly in a frown, and then she shook her head, as though she were shaking the thought out of her mind. she snapped her attention back to zane, and grinned at him, liking that he missed her. not that emi would ever want to stay away from him purely so he would miss her, but it was still nice to hear that she had been thought about quite a lot. she tucked a curl of dark brown hair behind her ear, and blinked, tearing her gaze away from him and wiping the grin off her face as she stared around the library again. she didn't know why she was so paranoid; it wasn't like nobody knew about herself and zane. was she meant to be on her rounds now? maybe she was skiving them again without even knowing it or meaning to.
"hey, emily .. you seem .. off. what's up?''
emily immediately went into red alert, and tensed slightly, hopefully not enough that zane would notice. why did zane have to know when something was wrong? dammit, he was the only one she could never keep a secret from for long; with her other friends, she was able to keep something hidden for much, much longer than she could with zane. "it's .. nothing. just .. OWLs, y'know? and professor mcgonagall's giving me too much transfiguration homework again because i missed last week's thanks to prefect duty and then there's potions and herbology essays i need to do, and then .. there's a quidditch match coming up, but i'm not sure who it's between, but i know i'm playing, so i've gotta train for that, too, and lora's just .. disappeared and lucy and i aren't really that close so my friends have all just disapparated on me .. oh, and i have a history of magic essay too. no, two. bollocks." she was rambling; once emi really started talking, she never stopped. she smiled slightly to herself again as she felt zane's chin on her head, and shuffled closer, unwinding her fingers from his so that she could wind her arms around his waist instead. "but it's .. all good. i mean, it can't be that hard, right?"
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Post by sebastian on Aug 22, 2009 0:24:11 GMT
turn me on and off and make me say, ' it' s magic' [/center]
it wasn't as if seb wouldn't feel guilty about this later - or however guilty he could manage. whatever guilt was to him, it'd hit him afterward. shit like this usually did. the next day or something he'd be chatting it up with zane, and all the way through he'd be dying inside. but really, guilt is just the fear of beaing caught, right? so he shook his head at himself and got the thought out of his mind - he would not, not feel guilty. this is just the kind of thing he was expected to do. no consequence. no thought about it. and he wouldn't be caught. no way, seb and zane looked exactly alike - if not, seb looked better. it was true, the twins factor had it's ups, but also downs. the one con was that zane was very close with seb - having lived with him his whole life. so every action, or slip of the tongue, or any 'guilty' emotions breaking out in the next little while would cause suspicion. they knew eachother, alright, and even if seb wasn't a regularily easy person to figure out, in mst cases, zane could, and had, definitley done so already. but not emily, and that was all that mattered right now. concentration.
taking a moment to listen to emily's reasoning, to hell if he actually cared at all, he took his free hand and ran his fingers loosely through a strand of her hair, out of absentmindedness at the same time as acting like a boyfriend. this was the way the guy acted, right? he'd never known - all of the gils he's been with he'd never actually been with any of them. just a one-time thing. or two. or three. but that was it - he never had serious relationships. never, and so he had little experience or knowledge of how to act with a girlfriend. how pathetic that was, he knew there had to be constant admirarion in it, so he put a small smile om, asthough he was shining with glee from just seeing her face. or, well, the top of her head for now, as she hid in his chest. ''in other words,'' he said after her speech, ''you've been really busy?'' the question seemed legit, all of the stuff she mention was indeed a reason not to visit her boyfriends. but he could, even as ignorant and stupid as he was, tell that it was a cover-up for something bigger. something apparently even zane didn't deserve to know. he decided to drop it, but not to sound uninterested, he added, ''i hope everything's out of the way soon enough, emi, i can't live this way without you for much longer.'' and with that he leaned his head down and kissed her head, hoping that he wouldn't regret saying that later - it was such a loser thing to say, but things here needed to get going soon. he wasn't about to sit in silence for two ours with this girl, in high hopes, and the clock was ticking on his patience.
TAGGED.!
[/b][/color] emiii :] WORDCOUNT. ![/b] 638 PLAYING. ![/b] let's go - cartel NOTES. ![/b] i'm sorry >< there's been nothing to work with here. so short D:[/blockquote][/blockquote][/sub][/font] |
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Post by emily louise ashley. on Aug 29, 2009 23:38:43 GMT
I WAS SUCH A GOOD, GOOD GIRL BEFORE YOU [/size] CAME ALONG, BUT YOU'RE SO RACY; YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE GUY.[/center] emily nodded, knowing she couldn't keep this up for much longer. she couldn't just keep lying to everyone. she lied almost as though it were something she did all the time now. she lied to her professors, to lora, lucy, zane, all her other friends. she lied to the head girl about doing her rounds. she made up bogus excuses to get out of quidditch practice. she just .. lied. and she knew she shouldn't. she knew she had to tell the truth. she knew that somehow, eventually, it was going to get out, whether she wanted it to or not. someone was going to figure out what the fuck was going on in emily's life and then they'd tell everyone, and emily's life would change drastically yet again, and that wasn't something emily wanted at all. her life was already so different to what it was last year - she had responsibility for a start, and then there was zane, which was a pleasant change, but still different nonetheless - and she often found herself wishing that she could just go back to how it used to be, back to being irresponsible and a carefree fourteen year old, being pushed into the lake by anyone and everyone simply because she was that annoying. now it was as though people were scared she'd slap them with a detention if they so much as breathed on her wrong.
"y-yeah. busy." emi agreed, looking down at the table in front of her and focussing her attention on that, hating herself more with each passing second, hating that she could just blatantly lie like that to zane's face. well .. not his face, considering she wasn't looking at that, but .. emi was different. she knew it. she knew other people knew it. she hated that she knew it. she hated that she was it. she hated that other people had noticed the difference. hated that they talked about her. hated that there were rumours flying around about her. she'd been doing this. she'd been doing that. she'd changed because she was cheating. she'd changed because she was ill. because she was pregnant - one of the more ridiculous rumours ( and one of the most upsetting ), considering she hadn't even had sex yet, with anyone. emily was innocent in a number of ways - she hadn't even gotten close to having sex yet; she'd only just turned fifteen. wasn't it illegal for her anyway? she didn't even know if she wanted sex yet anyway. she certainly wasn't going to be the one to bring the subject up.
''i hope everything's out of the way soon enough, emi, i can't live this way without you for much longer.''
she looked up abruptly, licking her lips anxiously as he kissed her head, feeling antsy and upset and so goddamned lost it was ridiculous. "it .. it will be, i'm sorry," she bit at her lip, starting to bite the skin off the lower, one of her nervous habits, and something that usually gave away how she was honestly feeling. "i'm sorry, really, i am. it .. it should be sorted out soon .. i'll .. be normal again soon." she tightened her grip on his hand, and pressed herself closer to him, her mind all over the place. "i miss you, a lot." she mumbled, hating that she couldn't really tell him what was wrong.
( aaah it's shit but fuck it, it's done. D< )
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